Monday, October 30, 2017

Macros 3

Part 3 of the macro guide that I'm finally getting around to making.

Macros 2

Page 2 of the brand new, oft-requested Macro Guide that I'm now making as part of the restoration effort.

Friday, October 27, 2017

Macros 1

The following is an imcomplete list of image macros available in the Fear20 Viewing Room chat.

Friday, March 31, 2017

Some Half-Assed Musings on Behind the Mask

Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon was released at a time when I was only beginning to take an interest in horror. I first discovered it on DVD several years later and bought it for only $7. I was motivated primarily by the impressively shiny cardboard cover which featured a folding cover flap depicting the villain's creepy, melancholy and now iconic mask. The plastic DVD case inside depicted Leslie in his full costume, carrying his trademarked hand scythe and shrouded in an unnatural mist in front of his farmhouse. It looked dark and gritty and metal as fuck. Even the review snippet above the title which referred to the movie as a "comic gem" did little to change my preconception.

That sweet, sexy package.

Thursday, March 30, 2017

Today's Horror Choices 03/30/17 - MC Hammer, M.D.

You know what's scary, dear readers? Poor health. I've got aches and itches and acid reflux out the ass. I've been known to faint occasionally from pain or lack of oxygen, and to top it off I'm lazy and messy and addicted to everything that's bad for me. Any day could really be my last. People keep telling me I need to go see a doctor. I tell them they need to go see Dr. Giggles, especially today because it's National Doctors' Day.


If over a decade of horror fandom has taught me anything about life, it's that doctors are deeply disturbed individuals and not to be trusted for any reason. Why else would they be so obsessed with what's going on inside your body? I mean just look at this history: Dr. Heiter from The Human Centipede, Dr. Channard (take a shot every time I mention Hellraiser 2), Dr. Herbert West the Re-Animator, even the generally likeable Dr. Seth Brundle from The Fly had some wacky shit going on upstairs. And let's not forget, dentists are doctors too! I haven't seen 1996's The Dentist, but the trailer suggest that it's full of cheesy 90s melodrama and good god, look at that poster for the sequel.

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

{Video} New IT Trailer

I noticed something interesting about the teaser trailer for the upcoming remake of Stephen King's It this morning.

In all seriousness, it's hard to tell from a single scream but it sounds like we'll be hearing a significant departure from the gravelly delivery we're all so used to hearing from the great Tim Curry. With such strong memories of the miniseries, I feel like it's going to be hard to disregard the similarities and differences between the two versions and judge this new adaptation of the source material on its own merits. Even calling it a "remake" feels like a step in the wrong direction, but that's what the horror community seems to think it is. Personally, I never saw the original until I was an adult, and as such my nostalgia glasses aren't quite as tinted as those of the countless teenagers and young adults who blame Tim Curry for their crippling coulrophobia. I have always thought it was pretty corny. The protagonists try to be three-dimensional but fall short due to questionable acting and stylized cinematography. In this regard, I look forward to seeing a new approach. Of course, like many fans, I have some reservations about Pennywise. It's true, nobody can ever replace Tim Curry's Pennywise. But that's not what a remake does. It stands on its own. We will always have the 90s version to go back to. But now, we also have this fancy, slender, suplexing version as well.

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Some Half-Assed Musings on Evil Dead 2

I've just watched Evil Dead 2 in celebration of its 30th anniversary, which is officially over as of the writing of this post. In lieu of a proper "journalistic" or "academic" exploration of the film's subtleties and whatnot, here's a handful of random thoughts that popped into my head while I was watching the movie.


Friday, March 10, 2017

Today's Horror Choices 03/10/17 - I Hate Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris falls asleep on Elm Street. He wakes up 5 minutes later wearing a fedora.

Okay, so I hate Chuck Norris jokes. They're not even funny. He's not even that cool. Or, like, is that the point? Is it supposed to be funny because he's so corny and lame? I don't know. To me, Chuck Norris will always be that boring Texas asshole who I had to sit through for the last 2-5 minutes of his show as I waited for Monday Night Raw to come on when I was a kid. Ya know. The show with the cool Texas asshole.

That said, today is Chuck Norris' birthday, which by extension makes it the International Day of Awesomeness. At first, I thought Chuck Norris had nothing to do with the horror genre, but a quick google search alerted me to the existence of a little-known slasher/thriller flick by the name of Silent Rage, in which Walker must take on the ultimate serial killer. I think one of them is a robot or something?

Thursday, March 9, 2017

Today's Horror Choices 03/09/17 - Pop It Like It's Corn

The second Thursday of March is considered Popcorn Lover's Day. Obviously, this reminds us that there is in fact a film named Popcorn from 1991 which seems to be about some kind of cursed movie theater or something. Taking this concept a step further, you could always track down the classic Are You Afraid of the Dark? episode titled "The Tale of the Midnight Madness" in which a pair of young teenagers attempt to save their failing movie theater by showing a special print of Nosferatu. The episode features... like... a shot of a character eating some popcorn....


Saturday, March 4, 2017

Today's Horror Choices 03/04/17 - Meat & Curtains

One of the biggest struggles for me when writing this column is maintaining variation in the movies that I suggest. For whatever reason, there are just certain films and franchises that frequently force their way into day after day after day.

"Well, if I had known I weren't welcome here...."   :'(

One of these mainstays of sinister celebration is the trademark of professional bondage grandpa and personal hero of yours truly, Clive Barker. The second film in the Hellraiser series sees a power-hungry doctor carry out a series of bizarre experiments in order to unlock the secrets of the Lament Configuration.

This brings us to today's first notable observance, Holy Experiment Day. To be fair, "holy" might not be quite the appropriate term here. In the early Hellraiser canon it was heavily implied that the Cenobites saw themselves not as demons per se, but as clerics to a higher force that is beyond mortal concepts of good and evil. In any case, the Cenobites represent a religious force, which Dr. Channard seeks to explore through controlled and measured experimentation. I think that's fairly well aligned with the spirit of the day; to question and attempt to measure the power of spiritual beliefs.

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Today's Horror Choices 02/28/17 - Science Can Bite Me

National Science Day is upon us, which means it's time to study up on such classics as Re-Animator, a clear favorite in the Fear20 Taima channel. While the actual science involved may not be all that accurate, the driving force behind the plot is clearly one man's insatiable thirst for knowledge and understanding which drives him to do the unthinkable. In that regard, many Frankenstein films would also be appropriate, but there are about a hundred other holidays that will force me to bring up the big guy throughout the year. Instead let's turn our attention to other science-themed horror flicks, like Scanners or Dreamscape, in which our attempts to understand the capabilities of the human mind lead to all sorts of pseudo-magical shenanigans. Plus, who doesn't want to see that gross head prosthetic  again?

Yeah, that's the one. *shudders*

Monday, February 27, 2017

Today's Horror Choices 02/27/17 - Stay Unwoke

Dear readers, it seems I've hit a bit of a snag this morning. You see, it's No Brainer Day, which almost certainly isn't an Illuminati smokescreen designed to slowly and subtly condition us into mindless slaves. In the spirit of not using my brain, I can't actually do much in the way of research or analysis, and instead I just have to go with the all-too-obvious topic of the day.

See? No brains required.

Sunday, February 26, 2017

Today's Horror Choices 02/26/17 - Freaky Tales

Each year on February 26th, fun enthusiasts everywhere stock up on Purell and run to the nearest semi-abandoned lot for Carnival Day. While I have never seen Tod Browning's 1932 film simply titled Freaks, I did once subject myself to the 2007 Asylum remake known as Freakshow. I picked it up at a going out of business sale at my then-local Hollywood Video, drawn in by the promise that it was "BANNED IN 43 COUNTRIES". I'll give it to ya straight: it's not a good film. None of the characters are the slightest bit enjoyable to think about, not because of their deformities but because of their shitty attitudes and the less than breathtaking performances of the actors portraying them. It's barely even a horror movie right up until the last, I don't know, maybe 10 minutes. But man, what a 10 minutes. The final scene delivers on the gore the DVD case so eagerly teases. I remember that 17-year-old me found it rather hard to watch. Granted, the gore probably isn't as intense or as well done as it seemed to me at the time, and the laws of physics and biology certainly hold no sway in the director's head, but if you enjoy a good torture scene, maybe give it a glance.

It's debatable if Killer Klowns qualifies here, given that the Klowns were aliens whose technology simply happened to resemble carnival equipment, and whose existence has been theorized to be the very inspiration for the carnival tradition in that universe.

More watermarks than Crasher Wake's fanbase.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

High-lighting POOL RULES

I haven't been watching a lot of Creepypasta videos lately. The big-name guys like MCP and King Spook always seem to post long-ass videos these days. I have a short attention span and it's hard for me to stay immersed for 30 plus minutes. Besides that, there are so many other things to watch on youtube, sometimes pure audio just doesn't cut it.

Then I saw this. Not quite 2 minutes in length, it captured my imagination and gave me no time to get bored or forget anything. I was being bombarded with sinister undertones and mysterious details that brought up questions with no time to be answered. This is one of the best creepypastas I've seen in years. Tales of Tim's videos are some of the best, and it's not only because of the fantastic visual elements.

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Today's Horror Choices 02/18/17 - It's So Wei'd

Today is John Travolta's birthday. He was in the original Carrie and the remake of Hairspray.

That's $5? You don't put pig's blood in it or nothin'?

That's literally it.

Friday, February 17, 2017

Today's Horror Choices 02/17/17 - A Serbian Crab

I've been thinking about changing the name of this column to "Today's Horror, Curated". Let me know what you think in the comments, dear readers.

I value your opinion, just like Michael Bay