Wait a minute....

The End Times Are Coming

So, the US government banned the slaughter of cats and dogs for human consumption. At first I thought it was just a hilarious usage of taxpayer money, but now I'm starting to get worried. There was a tweet from President Trump boasting about how his brainwashed Jr. believes that the economy has been fixed (something Obama couldn't do apparently). If a Trump thinks the economy is golden, clearly it's fucked.

You heard it here first: USD is about to crash. The end times be on their way. Cash out into anything. USAmerica is about to crumble. Everybody jump ship! The entire farming grid is about to go down, because they couldn't make any useless money.

Trump! The economy! It's all a lie! If you stay in the US, the only food is gonna be cats and dogs and they just outlawed it. It's a plan to get everybody in the jail. The fee for eating pets is up to $5000, which nobody is going to have after they had to spend $1,000,000 on a loaf of bread. We're all gonna be slaves. Irradiated slaves. There's also a nuclear war brewing.

The C-SPAN broadcasted a meeting between the most nuke armed countries. It didn't go well. President Trump shit his pants in front of multiple world leaders. He had to be tackled by guards after pulling a gun from his glorious hair. Trump could be heard shouting about killing everybody that witnessed his explosive pant load of diarrhea foam dripping out onto the floor. You can always count on C-SPAN to have the realest news. They have the most raw footage and live nude politician action.

This is fake news.
Probably.
Didn't fact check any of this; that's up to you.

Much love to the mythical reader.

Only 46 days until Halloween

Still running through those halls

I have recurring nightmares set in 6-8th grade. In the dreams I am always an adult and everyone else is flashback age appropriate. There are frequently natural disasters occurring and in a lot of these nightmares I am trying to escape the building.

The school's varied faculty will show up and stop me from leaving and I just roam the halls endlessly, hiding in bathrooms having panic attacks, going to various classes only to be humiliated in front of everybody, or other fun stuff. Other times I make it outside and drag myself, like a legless zombie, a long the sidewalk in downtown Portland to the bus stop that takes me home. [Sometimes home is where the heart is, but mostly the lambs are burnt. Home moved at some point during that timeframe.]

I rarely make it home. Mostly bridges collapse and bus based catastrophes happen. These dreams often end abruptly once somehow I realize I am dreaming.

The bathroom nightmares are the worst. I would often hide in the bathroom while having panic episodes during morning break, so I spent a lot of time in there. This has given my brain massive memory banks to torment me with reliving the vivid history of toilet related embarrassments that occurred in my adolescence. The best nightmares involve massive turds clogging the toilets and people coming into the bathroom at just the most hilarious times. It's good stuff. Not. It fucking sucks when I wake up all sweaty, anxious and ashamed of my existence.

Music Monster of The Month: John Carpenter

  John Howard Carpenter, it was an honor to be alive of the time you have give me an so many others great movies to watch as well as great music to listen to.

We'll miss you.

  That's right. Mr. Carpenter (for those of you who didn't know) has composed some of the best original soundtracks to some of his best movies.

The Humongous Fungus on the Malheur National Forest

Is anybody interested in seeing an article about a giant fungus that's eating a forest? There would be a smattering of pictures and/or video of eerily spooky dead/dying trees and maybe even mushrooms (they only appear in fall after the first rain).

OPB.org has a nice article about Oregon's Humongous Fungus.

This article on TheAtlantic.com mentions that the Humongous Fungus in Oregon was discovered, because scientists had a pissing match over the, "'...the largest and oldest living organisms' in the world."

We're probably going to do this regardless of audience interest, but it would be cool to know whether or not anybody wants our thoughts about 2,385 acres of fungus that has been devouring sitting duck trees for an estimated 1900 - 8650 years.

If you're interested in giant mushrooms, tell us all about it in a comment. Please? 🙀

[Posted by Kaedin Baen]