Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Today's Horror Choices 02/28/17 - Science Can Bite Me

National Science Day is upon us, which means it's time to study up on such classics as Re-Animator, a clear favorite in the Fear20 Taima channel. While the actual science involved may not be all that accurate, the driving force behind the plot is clearly one man's insatiable thirst for knowledge and understanding which drives him to do the unthinkable. In that regard, many Frankenstein films would also be appropriate, but there are about a hundred other holidays that will force me to bring up the big guy throughout the year. Instead let's turn our attention to other science-themed horror flicks, like Scanners or Dreamscape, in which our attempts to understand the capabilities of the human mind lead to all sorts of pseudo-magical shenanigans. Plus, who doesn't want to see that gross head prosthetic  again?

Yeah, that's the one. *shudders*

Monday, February 27, 2017

Today's Horror Choices 02/27/17 - Stay Unwoke

Dear readers, it seems I've hit a bit of a snag this morning. You see, it's No Brainer Day, which almost certainly isn't an Illuminati smokescreen designed to slowly and subtly condition us into mindless slaves. In the spirit of not using my brain, I can't actually do much in the way of research or analysis, and instead I just have to go with the all-too-obvious topic of the day.

See? No brains required.

Sunday, February 26, 2017

Today's Horror Choices 02/26/17 - Freaky Tales

Each year on February 26th, fun enthusiasts everywhere stock up on Purell and run to the nearest semi-abandoned lot for Carnival Day. While I have never seen Tod Browning's 1932 film simply titled Freaks, I did once subject myself to the 2007 Asylum remake known as Freakshow. I picked it up at a going out of business sale at my then-local Hollywood Video, drawn in by the promise that it was "BANNED IN 43 COUNTRIES". I'll give it to ya straight: it's not a good film. None of the characters are the slightest bit enjoyable to think about, not because of their deformities but because of their shitty attitudes and the less than breathtaking performances of the actors portraying them. It's barely even a horror movie right up until the last, I don't know, maybe 10 minutes. But man, what a 10 minutes. The final scene delivers on the gore the DVD case so eagerly teases. I remember that 17-year-old me found it rather hard to watch. Granted, the gore probably isn't as intense or as well done as it seemed to me at the time, and the laws of physics and biology certainly hold no sway in the director's head, but if you enjoy a good torture scene, maybe give it a glance.

It's debatable if Killer Klowns qualifies here, given that the Klowns were aliens whose technology simply happened to resemble carnival equipment, and whose existence has been theorized to be the very inspiration for the carnival tradition in that universe.

More watermarks than Crasher Wake's fanbase.

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

High-lighting POOL RULES

I haven't been watching a lot of Creepypasta videos lately. The big-name guys like MCP and King Spook always seem to post long-ass videos these days. I have a short attention span and it's hard for me to stay immersed for 30 plus minutes. Besides that, there are so many other things to watch on youtube, sometimes pure audio just doesn't cut it.

Then I saw this. Not quite 2 minutes in length, it captured my imagination and gave me no time to get bored or forget anything. I was being bombarded with sinister undertones and mysterious details that brought up questions with no time to be answered. This is one of the best creepypastas I've seen in years. Tales of Tim's videos are some of the best, and it's not only because of the fantastic visual elements.

Saturday, February 18, 2017

Today's Horror Choices 02/18/17 - It's So Wei'd

Today is John Travolta's birthday. He was in the original Carrie and the remake of Hairspray.

That's $5? You don't put pig's blood in it or nothin'?

That's literally it.

Friday, February 17, 2017

Today's Horror Choices 02/17/17 - A Serbian Crab

I've been thinking about changing the name of this column to "Today's Horror, Curated". Let me know what you think in the comments, dear readers.

I value your opinion, just like Michael Bay