Today's Horror Choices 05/20/16 - That Joke Killed At The Company Picnic....

I  stayed up all night partying last night, woke up at 3pm, and honestly I feel like a million bucks. I've got pizzas in the freezer, bud in my grinder, and a wolf-skin rug at my feet. All that's left to make this a perfect day is a good horror movie or two. But what does one watch on this Friday, May 20th, 2016?


Today is Be a Millionaire Day. There are multiple ways to celebrate Be a Millionaire day, from investing in stocks to buying a single lotto ticket to just plain being a millionaire. Horror fans can accomplish this by honoring all the money in horror, both on-screen and behind the scenes. Movies like Hannibal, Would You Rather and Hostel see vicious aristocrats subjecting those less fortunate to unfathomable injustices for the sake of their own amusement. You're Next showcases the lengths that people will go to in order to stake their financial claim in a fashion that's both captivatingly violent and surprisingly fun and enjoyable. American Psycho furthers the theme of the corrupting influence of power and success in the business world, though arguably goes to show that the seeds of murderous intent can grow in any mind, regardless of their social status or upbringing.

Hi, Chloe? Yes. This is Mr. Sarcanis. Tell your boss he can go fuck himself. I'm buying your company.

Speaking of seeds, May 20th is Flower Day. An observance that celebrates poetic observations, we will take it in its most literal sense and encourage you to take in a late-night screening of Little Shop of Horrors (both the original with Jack Nicholson and the remake with Steve Martin) and plenty of those sweet, gorgeous Cannabis Indica buds. If you've got extra time, throw in Godzilla vs. Biollante.

Speaking of Godzilla, the third Friday in May is considered Endangered Species Day. While some may be content to rewatch Predator and have a chuckle, I like the idea of cheesy animal movies. Sharktopus, Lavalantula, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, Zoombies... I'm sure there are slightly less cringey options, like Alligator, but I do love a good Syfy Original.

Speaking of Syfy, the third friday of May is also when the O. Henry Pun-off is held in Austin, Texas. Jurassic Shark, Mansquito, Thankskilling, Chopping Mall, Monsturd, Death Bed... The list goes on. But... Well... Maybe just...