Today's Horror Choices 05/17/16 - Just a Big Ass Closet Full of Pie Tins

Sorry I'm late with today's article. It's National Cherry Cobbler Day, and I couldn't put down my fork long enough to type anything until now. Once again, baked goods bring up Full Moon Entertainment's 2005 cheesecake classic, The Gingerdead Man. Aside from that, I think it's necessary to go a little abstract for this one. Rather than focus on cobbler itself, why not turn our attention to those gore-fests whose less fortunate characters end up looking like cherry cobbler, such as Street Trash, Dead Alive and... uh...

I tried, guys. Really.

Today is also National Pack Rat Day. This opens up a huge array of options. Any movie about a character who takes trophies will do; Predator 2, Silence of the Lambs, The Loved Ones, House of 1,000 Corpses or Wrestlemaniac will all make fine celebrations of those hoarding tendencies we all secretly have.

Also celebrated on May 17th is the International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia, so do yourself a favor and check out Kevin Smith's Red State. It's not as bad as people say and it kinda makes you think. Plus it has a fantastic cast.

Today's Horror Choices 05/16/16 - Well this is just uncomfortable....

Today is Love a Tree Day. Celebrate this concept in the extreme with Evil Dead (1981) and to a lesser extent, May (2002). You get bonus points just for watching May in May. I have heard that trees play a major role in M. Night Shyamalan's The Happening as well, but I have not seen it.

Today is also World Baking Day. We know this is supposed to be about cakes & shit, but that only really yeilds The Gingerdead Man and maybe that Father's Day segment of Creepshow. Luckily, Gingerdead Man eventually crossed over into the Evil Bong franchise, which parlays nicely into the kind of baking we prefer. Frost your brain with some sweet hashish and strap into your couch for Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong, Pot Zombies, Night of the Living Heads and Blood Freak. Let's get the world baked.

If you're brave, today is National Piercing Day. Do your self a favor and take the easy way out of this one with Return of the Living Dead. There's some gore there, but it's mostly light-hearted. If you're an action-horror fan, perhaps Ichi the Killer would be more your style. Also from Takashi Miike, Imprint features some body modification that will ensure you never look at a needle the same way again, and Grotesque goes deep with piercings in places that piercings should not be. Man, what's goin' on with Japan? Oh, right...

That's rough, guys.

{Video} Evil Bong High-5 Review

As a long-time fan of Full Moon Entertainment, I had high hopes for Evil Bong High-5, the latest offering from the company that brought me such joys as Puppet Master: Axis of Evil and The Gingerdead Man. While I feel like I came off as a little harsh in my video, I just miss the dank-ass writing that brought me down the Full Moon rabit hole in the first place. Here's hoping that Puppet Master: Axis Termination is--- Wait, what? "Littlest Reich"?