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Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Today's Horror Choices 05/24/16 - Driving Your Stupid Little Brother to the Mall

Growing up, I had a strained relationship with my brother, being that the only computer in the house was in his room and so I was always annoying him and invading his space. Nonetheless, he was relatively gracious about it, and he took care of me, begrudgingly driving me all around town and helping me when I got stuck in a video game. The last time I saw him was a few years ago at his wedding, and although I had a chance to re-establish contact, I regrettably put off sending that text until I forgot about it and lost his number.

I bring up this personal anecdote only because it's Brother's Day, a holiday invented by 7 year olds. Get together with your bro and watch movies with prominent or interesting brother characters, such as Jeepers Creepers, Oculus, A Serbian Film (if you consider that a horror movie) and of course, Basket Case.

"I don't care anymore, just please come get me. She never shuts up!"
After you have thoroughly bonded with your brother, pop in Dawn of the Dead for a nice anniversary viewing, as that zombie horror game-changer was released on May 24th, 1978. This movie is especially poignant for those without any biological siblings. It puts on display a different kind of brotherhood: the unbreakable bond of friends who have been through hell together, partners in crime who put their lives on the line for the survival of the group, who take difficult action with teary eyes to ensure that their "brothers" don't suffer. Dawn of the Dead is only mildly scary, but it's unarguably one of the best horror movies ever made, and it deserves attention on its special day.

A full-blown zombie marathon could easily spawn off from Dawn of the Dead, but instead I encourage you and your brothers to make your way to your local mall and engage in Scavenger Hunt Day. A quick Google search revealed one horror-themed scavenger hunt that's pretty interesting. Maybe just ignore the bit about sending stuff in the mail and instead split up an and search for your items, then compare your stuff at the end to see whose items are cooler and more on-theme.

If buying 8 things at the mall sounds a bit too spendy for you, I did find a single horror movie called Scavenger Hunt, but I don't know anything about it.

If you do go to the mall, be sure to spark up a joint when you get home in honor of Tommy Chong's birthday. I know we never stop talking about this shitty movie, but turn off your brain for an hour and enjoy the original Evil Bong, which is Tommy's only horror movie appearance to my knowledge. Some of the sequels used archive footage from the first one just so they could put his name on the promotional materials, but his character in the original is actually kind of funny, delivering a post-credit punchline that made me laugh harder than anything I can remember. There are a number of pot-themed and stoner-friendly horror movies out there, from Bong of the Dead to Cabin in the Woods, but only one horror movie has Leo himself, and it happens to have an ICP-heavy soundtrack.

Hey, at least they didn't have them do the main theme:

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